The day I gave her coke

OH the bliss of all the ideas on parenting I once had, pre-kid of course. They were so lovely! I can guarantee that I was an amazing parent…before I had kids!

Please, please, please, I beg of you, if you do not have kids…DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, THINK TO YOURSELF, AND DEFINITELY DON’T SAY OUT LOUD…”NOT MY KID!” Spare yourself the slice of humble pie.

I think it is safe to say that today I have reached the pinnacle of parenting my kids the way I used to judge people for parenting their kids. You know that saying “Judge not lest ye be judged.” Well, I am going to go ahead and change that to “Judge not, lest ye end up doing the very things you were judging!”

This weekend, during a 2 hour drive to the cabin. I poured COKE, in a sippy cup, and gave it to my 18 month old!!!

And to make it worse, that was after her nutritious dinner of french fries! If that doesn’t seem so bad to you, thank you, you are doing a great job! But for me, I might as well have been pregnant and smoking!

Look at that face…wouldn’t you give her a little sip of coke?!
littlelady2

I just shook my head and started laughing. I mean this was it. Coke in a sippy cup. I remember thinking how awful those parents were who gave their kids fast food. It was nothing short of child abuse. French fries as their only vegetable and coke in their sippy cup! “Not my kid!” And there started my downfall!

Here are some of my other not-so-shining pre-kid, or first kid, parenting faux pas.

1) Let’s say you are with some good friends and their 3 year old is taking pictures too close to your 8 month old’s face. You politely ask him to stop. And then to your absolute horror he….does it again! Hear me now…if this happens to you… Do not grab the camera out of his hands and say to the 3 YEAR OLD, IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS, “In my house, I only say stop once!” I mean. Really. Heather. Really! How on earth my friends did not burst out laughing in my face I will never know!

2) Thinking to myself, and sometimes talking about with others, that people who don’t have their kids on a sleep/eat/wake cycle are inferior and no wonder their kids don’t sleep through the night! BLECH!! Don’t forget that this was PRE-KID!! (read more about my thoughts on Baby Wise)

3) Making my mom a chart, literally, of the EXACT times (I mean 12:36), my first born INFANT needed to be WOKEN UP to be fed. Is there such thing as Shaken Parent Syndrome? If not, someone really should have taken me by the shoulders and given a good shake!

4) People who count to three are living in a “child run home”. (Side note…If you don’t know what that phrase means, lucky you!) I remember the first time I, without even thinking, held my finger up and said “1!” I even stopped myself and thought “I am the worst parent ever! I can’t believe my kid is disobeying and I can’t believe I just starting counting to three!” hehehehe…I mean. Come on! Spoiler alert… Now I make it all the way to three (and sometimes three and a half!)

5) Rolling my eyes at families with kids who are going crazy at the grocery or restaurant. I mean, some of us are trying to eat here (or shop) can you please leave your food and come back another time! It’s not like you have anything else going on, you’re a stay at home mom.

Coke in the sippy cup was my last straw! Mothers of the world…know this…you have one less know-it-all-mom waving a proverbial finger at you!

If you want to nurse your kid until they have braces…go ahead, more power to you!
If you decide not to nurse at all and go straight for the formula, that is just fine!
If you co-sleep with your whole family, good for you, you must really save on heating!
If you use a leash for your kids at the zoo, I understand!
If your toddler is screaming at the store, church or anywhere in public and you just ignore them and keep walking, you are in good company.

I put coke in my daughter’s sippy cup, you won’t be getting any flack from me!

Recently my brother, who is expecting his first, said to me “Is threatening the only way to get your kids to obey?” I smile at you. I am sure your little one will jump at your every command, but for some bizarre reason unbeknownst to you, she doesn’t come the first time you call, I promise to not laugh…but I probably will…the first time you finally succumb to threatening as a form of obedience bribery. :)

They don’t seem to be to messed up from my mistakes…not yet at least! :)
for amy (2)


What about you? Have you eaten your words yet? What is something you thought “I will never” but..now you have?

12 comments

  1. Michaela says:

    Thanks for the honesty!! I completely understand. I’m on my second baby and looking at my pile of cloth diapers (which I used up to 22-months with son #1), and just thinking, “disposable diapers don’t cause any *extra* damage to the planet, right?” From laughing when he says a dirty word to threatening to abandon him in Target (in earshot of other shoppers) I’ve lost my MOTY award weekly. I read a quote that said, “behind every great child is parents who think they’re screwing up”. You’re doing a great job!

  2. Rachael says:

    Oh, you are in GOOD company! We are count to three, threaten, time out, coke in a sippy, sucker if they’re quiet, candy for dinner, kind of parents. :)

  3. Krissy Higgins says:

    Oh’ you poor thing – LOL.
    I remember having all these rules established BEFORE my daughter was born, which all went to pot almost immediately. Let alone after child 2 and 3, LOL.
    I think you begin to realize certain things in the long run are just not as important as you thought..I’m at a point that I’ve realized if I don’t lock them up or throw them out, and they live to be 18 (with all their teeth), and graduated high school, then I have accomplished something!! =P

  4. lauren duke says:

    I remember seeing “those” parents whose kids were on a leash out and about. I remember distinctly saying to Justin “I would NEVER do that. I mean if you can’t control your kid, you should just stay home!”…not my finest moment! While we never put Inara in one of those leashes, there were many times we wish we had one! Thanks for being honest!

      • Jessica says:

        Samuel has gone “on the leash” several times, especially since I’ve been preggo and have a bit of a hard time keeping up with him in public :)

  5. Sharon says:

    I love hearing little ones scream while in church and I love seeing the faces of the older folks too. It makes for an interesting Sunday morning. I tell the parents who look like they want to hide under the pews to relax…their children need to be heard too. Who cares? Children are meant to explore their world by touching, listen to the world by hearing and to learn language by expressing by what they hear too. Can you tell I am an early childhood educator. I love children for who they are. I love your post and your honesty. It is hilarious.

    Sharon Winter
    Animal Crackers and Apple Juice

  6. Sherryl Wilson says:

    Just wait until you have 7 children! I explained to my teens that every rule we have in our house can be credited to one of the older group of siblings!

    Don’t worry about the little things..coke in a sippy, dipping the binky in your drink because it dropped on the floor…hey..no judging!

    Thanks for the smile…

  7. Heather says:

    Love this! I must confess I was the WORST judger of “the leash” but now that my 16 month old will do anything he can manage to run away, I worry I may cave one day or NEVER take him to the zoo. My son has become “that kid” you don’t want to sit by in the restaurant because he is always having a wild good time. I will fight my over coming desire to restrain him and will follow where he leads and see where we end up :) my 12 year old daughter will gladly go into the tunnel at Chik-fil-a and get her brother out!!

    • Heather says:

      Well at least he has a good time and enjoys himself! :) Gotta love older siblings to help!! This comment makes me want Chik-fil-a real bad! :)

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